Lily Allen’s been in the studio (not in the kitchen) and now she’s back!

I don’t know if you’ve noticed but the ‘chart music scene’ has been really, really bad recently. We’ve had to endure Robin Thicke‘s tacky rape anthem ‘Blurred Lines’, Miley Cyrus‘ tongue antics, endless auto-tuned EDM put your hands/drinks up in the club/to the sky ‘bangers’ and everyone twerking as if it was something only invented this year (it wasn’t).

Despite all the misogyny flying around, pop music is usually an area where girls do it best,  but I can sum all the recent albums from Lady Gaga, The Saturdays, Katy Perry and Avril Lavigne with a big meh. Where’s the spark?! Things clearly need to be done.

Luckily, my second favourite popstar of all time Lily Allen has decided to come out of musical retirement, and dropped the name Lily Rose Cooper she used when featuring on P!nk‘s ‘True Love‘, to bring take pot shots at the sorry state of the music industry, and the rampant sexism – all wrapped up in one of the best singles of the year.

This, is ‘Hard Out Here’

So, it’s clearly amazing. I could go on about how clearly amazing it is; nearly every line is quotable, the production sounds like a Lily Allen song (twinkly piano et al) in 2013 should sound like an the video if full of screen-cappable gems. Here’s my top 5 favourite bits.

NUMBER 5:  I personally like to think the amount of times Lily uses the word bitch in the song is directly referencing Britney‘s ‘Work Bitch’. Which is still a terrible piece of music.
NUMBER 4: “If I told you ’bout my sex life, you’d call me a slut / when boys be talkin’ ’bout their bitches, no one’s making a fuss.”
NUMBER 3: The ironic, and perfect (over)use of auto tune where its really not necessary. Kanye, T-Pain, Rihanna and the like must be REALLY big fans of that Cher song from ’98. You know the one.

This is my new favourite saying

This is my new favourite saying

NUMBER ONE (unsurprisingly):

Lily Allen Baggy Pussy

This just sums up Lily’s humour: sharp and to the point, but not afraid to self-depreciate herself at the same time as putting the (music) world (of 2013) to rights. I’m so excited, that the album and tour tickets are going to be pre-ordered the moment they go online.

Keep it coming, bitch.

(Oh, and the John Lewis advert Keane cover is lovely and all too. #diversity)


Thor: The Dark World review

It’s been over a month (!) since I last posted something. There’s a few reasons for that. I turned 22 at the end of October and to try and desperately cling onto my youth I’ve been mostly playing old PSone era Looney Tunes games (Bugs Bunny: Lost in Time and Sheep, Dog n’ Wolf. Check them out if you’re interested, the latter is very good. But so difficult) and more suited to video reviews if I ever get that started (if you’re reading this Joel…). The only TV show I’ve been watching is Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD and I think I wanna wait til the end of the season before opening that proverbial pandora’s box. I’ve also been busy sorting out a house viewing and then moving into said house within a week so blogging has, sadly, fallen by the wayside a bit.

But if anyone’s going to ignite that spark and bring out the keyboard warrior in me its a new entry into the Marvel Cinematic Universe: one of my favourite things to happen to film in the last five years. Yes, it’s been that long since the first Iron Man promised us a wider universe with Samuel L. Jackson’s Nick Fury cameo. Now ‘Phase 2’ carries on, and  its time to set things in motion, with Thor: the Dark World.

The not so official posted used in a Chinese theatre. Will probably be used as the gay porn parody poster no doubt…

I’m not going to do a sweeping, spoiler-free review because that’s boring and everyone else has done one. I’m going to write a bit more in depth about specifics so you’ll need to have seen the film (there’s no excuse not to by now) to get what I’m on about. Maybe.

OK, so basically: I bloody LOVED this film. It’s been a few days since I’ve seen it so I’ve had to time process where it sits in my ranking of the MCU films and its up there near the top. The thing that really sticks out, which many reviewers have picked up on as its strongest point, is the humour. Chris O’Dowd’s cameo (I personally like to think he’s actually Roy from The I.T. Crowd, in a meta gag), more Darcy – with an intern!, Thor and Jane picking up the sarcasm, everyone’s interactions with Loki, NAKED ERIK SELVI- nevermind actually. I also loved the little things like Thor putting his hammer on a coat hook, the absurdity of having to get on public transport (British public transport at that!) in the midst of the final battle and Mjnolnir (or ‘meow meow’ as Darcy still calls it) trying to fly back to Thor and constantly changing direction as he moves through dimensions. Even if the big baddie had more development (one of the film’s weaknesses, but apparently there’s tons of character for him in the deleted scenes), his seriousness as a villain was totally undermined by seeing him slide down the Gherkin, and that’s fine – its possibly my favourite moment. The MCU films (Incredible Hulk and the first Captain America aside) have all been consistently hilarious: Joss’ script for Avengers made it the funniest film of 2012 and Iron Man 3 and now Thor: The Dark World have equalled it, if not raised the bar.

Of course, Thor is also a serious superhero film too. Although saying that, the MCU films have blended the superhero genre with others to create something unique; Captain America: First Avenger was  an old-school 40’s war film, the first Thor wearethed the drapes of Shakespearian drama and Iron Man 3 was more a buddy cop movie. The Dark World delves into full-on fantasy, and does so fantastic under the direction of Game of Thrones alumni Alan Taylor. The battles are brutal, Asgard looks beautiful but also more realistic, whilst the viking funeral with the fire arrows could’ve been a moment out of Lord of the Rings. That scene in particular was  so visually stunning, it made me drop my jaw to the floor just after I had picked it up from seeing Frigga bite the bucket. It was beautiful. Having said all that, the film has a lot of science fiction elements to add to its unique mix (although science and magic are the same thing in this universe, according to Thor) with a med-bay hologram, portals allowing for some fun dimension hopping and gravity defying that make for an awesome final battle and henchemen that look like something out of Doctor Who – a nice touch seeing as Christopher Ecclestone is Malekith. All these elements are brought to life by fantastic visual and sound design, which nail (get it, coz Thor has a hammer…) all the different pieces together perfectly. As a media graduate, seeing everything come together made me go ‘yes, this is why I’d love to be involved in making movies’.

The Cyberman like faces/masks, the laser guns, the weird shaped spaceships – think the Dark Elves were literally beamed in from BBC Wales art department, and will probably be involved a lot of dubious crossover fan fiction…

Everyone getting to work on any of these Marvel movies is one of the luckiest people I the world. Not only are all these genre spanning films existing in and adding to a shared universe – like that mid credits scene confirming they are following the Infinity Gauntlet storyline (which I totally saw coming) and Loki doing… something with Odin and taking over the throne of Asgard in disguise (which I totally DID NOT see coming) – but they are the most FUN series of films coming out in a long, long time. These films are my boyhood fantasies coming to life on screen, and handled incredibly well. The actors are fantastic, the technical elements like sound and visuals aren’t just serviceable but full of flair and imagination and things like the Captain America illusion cameo is Marvel and Disney’s way of saying ‘we know what you want, and we are happy to give it to you’. The guys making these films are having a much fun playing with their metaphorical toy boxes making these as we are watching them, and I can’t wait for what comes next.

As long as it’s not more naked Erik Selvig.