I’m not going to lie, I’ve been feeling pretty run-down, constantly tired and therefore uninspired to write the last two week and a half weeks. New Miley Cyrus video? meh. It’s all been said. Kingdom Hearts HD? Too busy playing it. Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD? Seems a bit of a touchy subject amongst people I know, not sure I want to fan flames further (:P). Breaking Bad finale? I’ve never watched an episode, please don’t hurt me.
But anyone who knows me AT ALL knows how much I absolutely loathe ‘Scream & Shout’ by will.i.am and Britney Spears. The production sounded like an unfinished demo, will.i.am’s auto-tuned lyrics are typically dreadful, there hooks are weak and I don’t even know what Britney was doing with that accent. The worst thing was is that the song was (and still is) massive. I hear it in work all the time, and whilst flicking through the music channels last week, Conor Maynard listed it as number 2 (or 3, I forget) on his ‘greatest collaborations ever’ show.
EVER. Are you serious?!? Not that I care much for anything Conor Maynard does anyway but I don’t understand why everyone was/is mad about it.
OK, well I have a clue: will.i.am. He’s a really big deal over here. It probably would have sold massively whether it was Britney wailing (keyword) over the chorus or any other female singer – just look at ‘This Is Love’, the only reason people know Eva Simons is that song a few years ago everyone thought was Lady Gaga and Rihanna teaming up. So naturally, the ‘Do Somethin” star enlisted will.i.am to executive produce her newest studio album, because she’s onto her 8th now and she wants it to be very emotional.
Seems like the natural choice.
If you haven’t heard lead single ‘Work Bitch’ before, then it’s basically a sequel to ‘Scream & Shout’ but with only Britney on vocals. So: godawful lyrics, that stupid faux-British accent, droning beat and the sound of me crying in the corner singing ‘Everytime’ to myself, thinking about the better days.
But this post is about the music video, which literally debuted about 20 minutes ago online and combined with the song, riled me into writing my first post in weeks. I’ve written this before watching the video so I’m going to leave my cynicism behind (and I’m being a massive keyboard warrior tonight, it’s a bit unlike me – back with a vengeance!). The ‘Femme Fatale’ era (her last album) might have sounded like Spears had no input whatsoever, but 3 out of the 4 music videos were really, really, really good. So there’s hope for this one. Britney may not really care about the music (I don’t know her so I honestly couldn’t say) but her team around her surely must know what they’re doing at least some of the time and disguise a turgid song with a good video, right?!?
See you on the other side…
Let’s get the good out the way: 1) the desert sequences remind me of Spice Girls ‘Say You’ll Be There’ and Sugababes ‘About A Girl’ so that’s something. 2) She wears a nice dress in the pool sequence. 3) will.i.am doesn’t appear. 4) It’s not got a #toteshipster Instagram filter over the top of it (looking at you, MKS).
That’s about it.
The dancing is just… really stifled and awkward. I wasn’t expecting incredible moves but it’s like the ‘Til The World Ends’ video all over again (the one bad video out of the four from her last album campaign) but it just looks a bit rubbish. The whole S&M/bondage/Fifty Shades stuff feels even more forced, not to mention something that just feels out of date now (kind of like the song with the EDM). It’s trying to be ‘sexy’ and ‘edgy’ without any real point, except maybe ‘I’M STILL RELEVANT!’
Britney sits in front of a mirror with her perfume beside her, again. It was annoying the first however many times so stop now please. The rest of the product placement isn’t so blatant; there’s an ad in the background for her Vegas shows and one of the bound and gagged men has some sort of beats thingy in his mouth. So it’s not frequent, but in the latter case, its still stupid.
But my favourite (and by that, I mean laughably bad) bit is when Britney proves her cultural relevance by getting the dodgy CGI-rendered sharks from Sharknado to… swim around Britney in the pool unconvincingly. Well, done everyone.
So, dodgy dance routines, out-of-place looking aquatic killers, out-of-place popstar, over-the-top bondage all brought together in a package I don’t think is technically edited and framed very well either. My verdict: everyone involved in this video needs to go back to class, learn what to do and how to do it properly and THEN get back to work.