I’m Spinning Around… If Your Singing Is Good Enough: Is Kylie on The Voice a good thing?

If you hadn’t heard by now, The Voice UK is coming back to our screens in January, just as soon as we thought we were safe for a while with X Factoover. This time, Danny from The Script and Juh Juh Jessie J aren’t returning alongside Sir Tom Jones and (sigh) will.i.am. But the rumours have been confirmed, Goddess of Pop Kylie Minogue will!

Those folks over at Digital Spy did a survey about whether this is a good choice and 90.9% of people who voted said YES. But with this being the internet there have been a few complaints, ones I’d like to address here.

Who even is Kylie anyway? Isn’t she that backing singer on Taio Cruz’s ‘Higher’?

Luckily I’ve not seen this one as an actual complaint. As astonishing as I find some ‘young people’s’ lack of musical knowledge (how can you not know who Hooverphonic are?? I mean, for real real), I think everyone AT LEAST knows ‘Can’t Get You Out Of My Head’.

She’s old, and doesn’t know what’s relevant.

I’m not a violent person but I would slap anyone who says this near me in person. First of all, Sir Tom Jones is a lot older than Kylie and he’s probably the best coach on the show. So come back to me when you are her age and see if you look this good:

Secondly, like the Welsh legend, you don’t last that long in music without knowing what works and what doesn’t. And especially in Kylie’s case, when something doesn’t work (cough*Body Language*cough) you re-invent yourself and make that work. Kylie’s got a great business head on her, she may not always write her own songs (but she has, go listen to Impossible Princess and then tell me she has no indie cred) but she is FAR from a puppet. And that’s what The Voice is all about right? Finding a winner who will be an ‘artist’, not a product.

But Dannii was rubbish on X Factor.

Incorrect.

Why should she judge/coach a singing competition? She can’t sing.

This one seems to have come up a fair bit as well. A lot of people are saying Kylie can’t sing based on her squeaky voice in the eighties, where she was a soap star going into music and not a professionally trained singer. Like the business side of her career, Kylie has improved on her voice greatly and knows exactly what she is and isn’t capable of. Despite what X Factor would have you believe, you don’t need to be a massive belter like Adele or Beyonce to be a good singer. Listen to last year’s ‘The Abbey Road Sessions’ or the below clip to see (hear) her strengths; sexy, vulnerable, perfect higher register coos, just… EMOTION!!

She’s boring.

Once again… OH NO YOU DIDN’T! I think in today’s bitchy celebrity society, being genuinely nice is seen as being dull as dishwater. I disagree there, Danny from The Script didn’t seem that polite in the way Kylie is yet he was like drying paint. Kylie’s got a wicked sense of humour I think will fit well with the other coaches, and hopefully she can bring some warmth, self-depreciation, glamour and… a fair bit of camp.

Now prepare for the best 3 minutes ever, made even more hilarious in hindsight due to this casting announcement.

The show is boring.

OK yes I will definitely give you that one. As a format The Voice UK loses its way after the spinning chair auditions round, and all the added quirks in series two just made it all the more confusing. The selling point is the show is without gimmicks, and overlooking the fact blind auditions are the biggest gimmick of all, all the rules about stealing contestants and battles are overcomplicated. The show takes itself far too seriously and Kylie alone can’t change that. We need to care about the contestants too. The producers need to work out the formula before January and stick to it, the judging panel revamp and getting KYLIE BLOODY MINOGUE is the best chance they have of turning the show around. Don’t screw it up.

Oh and did you know, Kylie singed with Roc NationJay-Z‘s record/management label and has a new album (her 12th studio one!) coming out next year. If The Voice UK series 3 fails as a show overall, it’ll still be a major platform for her to promote her newest tunes.

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New Music Video: Diana Vickers ‘Cinderella’

How this didn’t make it into my Top 5 I don’t know, I think I stopped listening to it because the release date was (and still is) so far away, I didn’t want to get tired of it. Now the video is out the song is back on repeat again and I love it even more.

The music video’s not exactly groundbreaking, but looks very well done despite Diana being on a smaller label. There’s great use of location and simple colours (white/cream and black mostly) and all that technical stuff. The story is exactly as you’d expect: Diana meets a cute bought in male model type, they flirt and avoid getting caught. What sets it apart from many is that there’s genuine chemistry between them, and the male love interest is good looking but not in the ‘straight out of the Topman website’ kind of way most (*cough*Yo-yo*cough) videos do. Diana’s cute little winks extend to her solo shots, and she flirts with the camera brilliantly. She’s got natural star power, this girl, like some sort of… ‘X Factor’.

The song is still all kinds of incredible, co-penned by (ex) Xenomania lyrical genius Miranda Cooper, Diana voice goes perfectly with the light synthpop production and the lyrics. The ‘I believe in thunderbolts and butterflies’ is a standard Miranda-ism, as is the time-checking middle eight, but my favourite bit of the song – the ultimate Miranda touch and bit that makes me feel all magical and whatnot – is the chorus. Specifically the bit in the chorus where Diana sings “for you I would lose, buh-both of my shoes”. The triple ‘ooh’ rhyme and the fact ‘both’ is ‘buh-both’ just makes it for me. Its kind of hard to explain, but its just one of those little things that add to it. 

Cinderella‘ is criminally not out until July, and here’s hoping it starts Diana’s second album campaign off with a hit. It’d sadden me to see that now both Xenomania geniuses Miranda and Brian Higgins solo female projects fail (that’s Amelia Lily by the way).